The Sweet Spot Between Confidence and Humility
“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” - Dalai Lama
The Tension
Be easy on yourself, but hard on your ego and excuses.
That’s been my mantra for May, and to be honest, it’s a reminder I needed for myself this week.
As leaders, parents, coaches, or just people trying to do our best in a noisy, demanding world, there’s a tension we all wrestle with: the need for self-compassion… and the discipline to push ourselves forward. The ability to show up with strength… but without ego. The courage to admit we’re not there yet… while still believing we’re capable of getting there.
Here’s the truth I keep bumping into:
We are never as bad as our inner critic would have us believe - but we’re probably not as good as our ego tells us, either.
Our ego is a sneaky thing. It craves constant validation, thrives on comparison, and whispers that we’re either not enough or far better than others. Then, there are excuses - quiet, convincing stories that help us justify procrastination, perfectionism, or staying small.
“Be kind to yourself. Ruthless with your excuses.” - Curtis Scaplen
That’s why this mantra matters:
Be easy on yourself. Be kind. Be patient. Forgive yourself when things don’t go perfectly.
But be hard on your ego. Don’t let it puff you up or shrink you down.
And be hard on your excuses. They may feel safe, but they’ll rob you of the life and leadership you’re capable of.
The leaders I admire most and the humans I’m drawn to, have something in common - they’ve found that sweet spot. That rhythm where confidence comes from within, not from applause..and humility isn’t weakness, but wisdom.
They don’t need external validation to know their worth.
They own their strengths, but they don’t wear them like a costume.
They lead with purpose, but they listen with curiousity.
They show up fully, not perfectly and keep learning along the way.
Wrestling the Inner Critic
So if you’re wrestling with your inner critic or letting your ego run the show, let’s consider this our own gentle (but firm) reminder:
You can be kind to yourself and hold yourself accountable.
You can be confident and humble.
You can rest and grow.
It’s not one or the other. It’s both.
And that’s where I believe the magic lives.
